6 rules for having a good argument

I’ve talked before about why it’s important to be able to argue your case effectively. I didn’t get around to how, in my mind at least, you should go about it.

So here are my rules for having a good argument.

1. Make sure you know the reasons for your own claims

You can’t even begin to think about undermining your opponent’s case if your own claims are based upon logic that is wobblier than a blancmange on an active fault line.

It’s going to be a pretty short argument if you can’t provide justifications for the things you’re arguing about. And if you can’t explain why they’re true, that’s a good sign that you need to reconsider your point of view, or at least do the work of fact-check and understand what you’re saying.

2. Listen to the other person’s claims

An argument is about engaging with the other person’s claims. Think about what they’re saying and respond to that. If you don’t pay any attention to their claims, you don’t have the chance to press them for evidence or clarification or get them to question their conclusions.

That means you’ll have no chance of changing their mind. You aren’t simply waiting for them to finish speaking so that you can get on with your next statement.

3. Avoid personal attacks

Personal attacks in an argument are a bit like eating popcorn or going to war: once you start it’s difficult to stop. The only thing you prove by resorting to attacking the person and not their argument (which is a type of logical fallacy known as an ad hominem) is that you can’t counter their claims.

And who’s going to want to debate you or even listen to your ideas if all you can do is claim they look weird or that their nose is funny?

4. Never dismiss an argument just because of the person making it

There are times where the identity or characteristics of the person making the claim do impact how you should judge it. If the person warning of the dangers of abandoning fossil fuels happens to be the billionaire owner of an oil company, you should take that into account.

But these vested interests lead people to pick claims that benefit them or protect their way of life. If those are their criteria for choosing their arguments, then their claims may be weak. They haven’t been chosen based upon the best evidence or the soundest logic. And so it’s still their claims you should focus on, not their character.

Their character, circumstances or status simply helps you to understand why certain arguments and ideas – like setting the planet on fire in exchange for a gold helicopter – appeal to them. In fact, if they are clearly biased it should be even easier for you to dismantle their claims without touching upon their character.

5. Be open to the possibility that you may be wrong

People have a tendency to pick a particular hill in Opinion Land and then build a enormous fortress there, complete with drawbridge, moat, and catapults in the towers. Put another way, we tend to dismiss evidence that contradicts our point of view, listening only to what backs up what we believe to be true.

This is why some people believe some things that are truly daft. But, it also shows that you shouldn’t hold your own beliefs to be unassailable. If someone counters one of your claims and you can’t immediately think of a rebuff, it’s worth returning to their point later.

The initial absence of a justification doesn’t mean that the argument isn’t a good one – things stuck to the ground for a long time before anyone discovered gravity – but, as explained above, you should see the gaps in your worldview as a chance to strengthen it and hone in on the truth of the matter.

6. Remember why you are arguing

What’s the ultimate goal of having an argument? I believe it’s to fuel progress. If you can overcome someone’s objections to your worldview then you create an ally in the quest for a better world.

Too many people these days like an aggressive confrontation. They don’t respect other people’s views and consider themselves to be morally superior. This attitude is the antithesis of what is required to create progress, and it’s why – in my opinion – the divides in our society are becoming alarmingly wide.

If we all approached a disagreement with a little more empathy and humility, as laid out in the rules above, we may stand a better chance of getting the world back on track.