Does it ever seem like the world is just getting worse? Maybe that’s a misconception – perhaps when you go on social media and are surrounded by anger, where people share the worst highlights of the day’s news, it’s not surprising you develop a terrible worldview.
And yet, it really does seem like things are getting worse. The culture wars are no less vitriolic, the sides no less entrenched.
Classic Dave
There are many reasons why the culture wars are so bad, so intense, and show no signs of stopping. But one in particular stands out to me at the moment: we refuse to hold our own sides accountable.
Say you have a friend called Dave. Dave is all right, but occasionally he goes too far. If he drinks a lot he may go for a wee against the wheel of a Porsche. More than a few times he’s kicked a football through someone’s window. He laughs at inappropriate jokes and when people fall over in the street. You let it slide because he’s your mate.
But one day, Dave picks up a spear and impales a Waitrose delivery driver. You’re stunned. He lunges for the postwoman and you shout at him. You scream for him to stop. Ask him what he’s doing. Tell him he’s in the wrong.
Covering for our friends, no matter the cost
Except that, these days, we don’t. Dave is our friend. He’s on our side. And the Waitrose driver once said we were blocking the road. The postwoman occasionally bends letters, even when the envelopes clearly say ‘Do Not Bend’. And so they’re the enemy. They got what they deserved.
Rather than admonish and disown Dave, we come up with reasons to explain why Dave was right to do what he did. No crime is too great. We stand with Dave.
As if this wasn’t bad enough, our defence of Dave had only emboldened him. A few weeks later he steals a bulldozer and flattens a pop-up falafel stand. One man is trapped in the debris and has to survive on guacamole for six hours while rescue workers dig him out.
Again, we’re with Dave. ‘What a stupid place to put a falafel stand’, we say, ‘a mere 250 metres from a road, in a designated pedestrian-only zone, behind just three layers of bollards. Anyone could have hit it.’
And besides, we hasten to point out, Dave probably just drove through where the falafel stand was, he wasn’t targeting it. It was purely coincidence that he shouted ‘Death to falafel’ at the time.
Getting away with more and more
Each time we stand by and allow our side to do something that goes against common decency or violates guidelines, or even breaks laws, we’re sending a message. They can get away with it.
We’ve become so territorial that we’re more concerned about protecting our own, even if that means standing up for them when we know they’re in the wrong. Sometimes this has truly horrific consequences.
The death of accountability
This is incredibly short-term thinking. I believe the way to cure ourselves of it is to ask a simple question: ‘Would I be OK if the “other side” did the thing I’m defending?’
Because what we have to realise is that if we give something a free pass – say, a member of government breaking their own laws – you can be damn sure the other side will do the same when they get into power.
And suddenly you won’t be in a rush to defend it. But your helpless rage will go ignored. It’ll be too late to stand up for morality and decency, because your side set the precedent.
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Header photo by Tobias Tullius on Unsplash
